by Telly G. Ocampo
My Way of Saying Goodbye
I call him Junior. Yes, he is my brother and he was laid to rest on Thursday Jan 11, 2024. It was a life lived against all odds. I’m telling his llife story for us to reflect on our own life.
I’ll start with a poem I memorized in high school: The Smile Worthwhile
It is easy enough to be pleasant, while life flows by like a song.
But the man worthwhile, is the one who will smile,
When everything goes dead wrong.
But the test of the heart is trouble, and it always come thru the years.
But the smile that is worth the praise of the earth
is the smile that shines through tears.
My brother, when he was a boy, was a cute. He was gwapo, mestizo, ug may hitsura gyud, matud pa nila. He had good physique, too. He had brownish hair which I used to brush when he was little. I am 7 years older than he is.
He took up Engineering at the University of San Carlos and stayed in that school only up to third year college because of his early marriage. In the beginning, everything was rosy for him, his wife and children, especially that they had the support system of both sides of the family.
He had a promising career which was cut short because of “drinking”. His drinking spree started as a way to socialize. It advanced to “peer drinking” and finally to “addiction” in drinking.
He was in and out of the hospital and became sober for 4 months after his last admission. I took him in to my abode and he was taken care of by my daughter, Irene, and my niece, Michelle (who is a nurse). Last year, in October, my other brother, Dodong, who is more infirmed, joined Junior at home after the former’s hospitalization. They stayed in one room with the comfort of a home. Irene and Michelle felt good that both could take care of their uncles at home.
It was always my prayer for Junior to connect with his children. The last four months of his life was a beacon of light. There was so much hope. He started to sing with Irene and her children. He joined the rosary prayer in October (2023), the fun run in November ending as the second eldest participant. He was with the Tan Akoy group – the biggest group – who joined the competition. I prayed and hoped that his zest for life would last long, and maybe, longer.
But he got carried away by the spirit of the holidays. I asked him to visit his best friend, who, despite the friend’s bout with the big C, is still very positive of longer survival. Junior promised to his best friend that he (Junior) will not go back to his drinking habit. But, when his caregiver, Irene, left for a short vacation with her husband and family outside of Bohol, he went back to his old ways and he was back to square one.
And now, he is gone.
Jun, may I tell you that your daughter Genevieve, and her two sons are coming. We are witnesses to how blessed you are with your children who did not allow themselves to be broken. Your children have families of their own and they are blessed with beautiful children, too. Obviously they have the genes of good looks from you; and the sturdiness of their emotions from their mother, Myna – all these make them God’s perfect creation.
Sail on my brother, dear! Deep in our heart, we wanted the best for you. We truly care.
Junior Gonzaga (foreground) presents the role of a fisherman, hence, the kerchief tied around his neck which, to him, is the best symbol of the fisherman’s character. This was during the Ramo-Villamor reunion on Nov. 11, 2023
My brother Junior Gonzaga!