By: Telly Gonzaga-Ocampo
How Can I Say Goodbye!
On December 8, 2023, I celebrated the feast of the Immaculate Conception. I prepared something on my dining table for my friends to remember the celebration. By friends, I mean the mga biyuda nga kahigalaan nga susama naho. The groups, who came in batches, were Virgilia “Daya” Lim-Yap. Cora Prosianos Holland. Inday Descallar Buitner, Carie Tharan, and my bff Ardy Araneta-Batoy. There were others (who are currently enjoying their single blessedness) who also came and Dory Penales is one of them. Bff Ardy had her radio programs – Open Forum and Newsmakers ug Uban Pa – so, she had to come in late, of course with her co-anchor, sister Gloria Leodivica Ines Araneta. You listen to them during their program hosting, and you will say that there is always reason to know what’s going on around us, to laugh at the lighter events of life, and to enjoy the beauty of communication.
Daya came in with daughter Girlie, her caregiver and loyal driver. Daya came in from her dialysis session and she was in high spirits. She was the first to come from among the mga biyudas. So we were all on the round table. Daya and me were widowed in the same year 2021. Not due to covid. Her husband, Dr. Bobong Yap died a few days after his heart operation. And my husband Roger, of colon cancer.
When another bff – Dory- came later, she was joined by Msgr. Vicente Matias Nunag with his two boys (his assistants). The msgr. had to give confession and the sacrament of the living to my ailing brother, Dodong.
Msgr. Vicente “Boy” Nunag became our parish priest in Baclayon when we were all younger. After he left Baclayon, he has been assigned to two parishes: Birhen sa Barangay known as Simbahan nga Lingin and the St. Jude parish in Mansasa. The lot where this church now stands was donated by the Lim-Ong family.
During their presence in our home on Dec. 8, 2023, never did I realize that it was Daya’s final visit to my place. We had fun in our conversation that day. We were in a reunion of some sort; we reminisced the good old days of our youth. We told and compared stories of the “long time ago” and the llife of the elderly today. Yes, we are 70 and above years old and, yet, we are still young at heart. Remember the line of the song that says: “Fairy tales can come true when you’re young at hear” ???
December 15, 2023 was the first night of simbang gabi. For two successive Christmases after covid, our group spent the simbang gabi together. But this Christmas 2023, we agreed that I’ll be on the right wing of the Baclayon church so i can be near the altar and I can be brought by my suking piyagyu right on the doorstep of the church. Niining paagiha, usa ra gyud ka tikang gikan sa sakyanan padulong sa sulod sa simbahan. This style has been very convenient for me in my present condition an after my hip surgery. And before the mass ended Girlie Lim-Yap, Daya’s daughter approached me and asked me where we should go after mass. I said “sa kinamot”.
On my birthday on Dec. 11, 2023, we arrived at kinamot and the group was already there. They prepared for everything. Daya brought along her youngest son, Dr. Vincent, with his pregnant wife. Her son Simon was there, too, with Girlie. Kumpleto gyud ang selebrasyon: birthday cakes and so forth and so on, When Daya’s husband was still alive, the family used to surprise me on my birthday. They would bring our classmate, Lourdes Cemini, whom I haven’t seen for years. One birthday celebration, their driver delivered a sack of rice for distribution to my household staff. That was December before the covid lockdown.
December 23, 2023 was supposed to be the culmination of our simbang gabi activity. I called up Girlie to tell her that our meeting place would be at the church portico.But it wasn’t meant to be. I learned that Daya was in the ICU. She was transferred to Chong Hua Hospital in Cebu for a higher level of medical care.
February 2, 2024 was the celebration of the feast of the Presentation of Jesus. It was on this day that my friend, Daya, passed away. She was conscious to the very end. Her children presented her to the Creator. I went to Daya’s wake to see her children: Vivien, a doctor at Cornell University; Vanessa, a medical doctor at the Makati Medical Center; Vanessa’s husband who is assigned at the Asian Hospital at Alabang; Sandra, a professor at Far Eastern University; Saisai, a nurse who graduated first in Communication Arts and went into Nursing as her second course. Of course, Girlie was there. Dr. Vince followed his father’s footsteps. He is in family medicine and is maintaining his father’s clinic!
Farewell my friend, Daya: our class valedictorian and president in high school at the old St. Joseph College; champion in the Religion competition in the CIDAL (Cebu Interdiocesan Academic League Meet in Cebu; pharmacist; mother to seven successful and upright children; a Catholic in faith, in thoughts, in words and in deeds.
What is to die? To die is to be far away! As from the poem of Kahlil Gibran: Life and death are one. How can we ever experience death if we haven’t passed through life? You went ahead of us. My time will come. In our journey through life, I thank you for the memories.