This Women’s Month, Let’s Start by Listening
She came to my clinic after eight years of suffering. Eight years of being told her heavy periods and debilitating cramps were “just part of being a woman.” She had been given birth control pills, told to “relax,” and once, advised to “take Midol and stop complaining.” By the time I met her, she had begun to doubt herself.
When I sat down, I asked: “Tell me everything. I have time.”
For the first time in nearly a decade, someone listened. I suspected endometriosis, and surgery later confirmed it—deep disease that had been quietly scarring her insides while the world told her she was overreacting.
Her case is not rare. As an OB-GYN, I have witnessed a quieter epidemic: the systematic dismissal of women’s pain, symptoms, and voices.
Research shows that when men and women present with the same pain, women’s pain is more often labeled as “emotional” and treated less aggressively. Women wait longer in emergency rooms and are more likely to have their symptoms attributed to anxiety.
This is not only a medical issue. March is Women’s Month—a time to celebrate progress, but also to look honestly at where equality remains unfinished. One of the most foundational forms of equality is this: the belief that when a woman says she is suffering, she is telling the truth.
When we dismiss a woman’s pain, we delay diagnoses. Endometriosis takes an average of seven to ten years to diagnose. Polycystic ovary syndrome, myoma, and even heart disease (which presents differently in women) often go undetected until they become emergencies.
We also erode trust. Patients who feel dismissed are less likely to return for preventive care, and more likely to suffer in silence. I have had patients apologize to me for “wasting my time” with symptoms that turned out to be cancer. That apology tells me our system failed them long before they walked through my door.
The cost is measured in years of suffering, missed opportunities, and sometimes lives lost.
In my practice, I start every visit with an open-ended question: “What’s on your mind today?” I don’t interrupt for the first two minutes. I keep a diagram of the female body in my exam room and hand patients the marker. “Show me where it hurts. You are the expert on your own body.”
When women feel believed, they share more. They tell me about the bleeding they thought was normal, the fatigue they thought was just stress, the pain they thought they had to endure. Listening, I’ve learned, is a diagnostic tool as powerful as any ultrasound.
As we celebrate Women’s Month this March, here are ways we can all amplify women’s voices:
· For women: Trust your body. If something feels wrong, persist. Keep a symptom diary. Bring someone to appointments to help advocate. You are not “too much.”
· For families and partners: Believe the women in your life. When they tell you something is wrong, don’t minimize it. Your belief can be the thing that keeps them from giving up.
· For healthcare providers: Examine your own biases. Commit to listening without interrupting. Acknowledge when you don’t have an answer—and commit to finding one.
My patient with endometriosis is now thriving. After surgery and a care plan built on mutual trust, she recently ran a half marathon. She told me, “You didn’t just treat my disease. You made me feel like I mattered.”
That is what Women’s Month is ultimately about: declaring, collectively, that women’s lives, women’s bodies, and women’s voices matter.
We have made immense strides in women’s health, but the final frontier may be the simplest one. It’s the act of pulling up a chair, looking a woman in the eye, and saying, “I hear you. I believe you. Let’s figure this out together.”
That is a gift we can all give—this March and every day.